Written by Transylvania College, Romania, COBIS Accredited Member (BSO)

In 2015, something became unmistakably clear to us: the children in our school were not well — and neither were the adults.

There was no crisis, no single moment of collapse. Just a quiet accumulation of stress, disconnection, and emotional fatigue. People were doing their jobs, showing up, pushing through. But underneath, something essential was missing. We couldn’t expect students to thrive in an environment where the adults were barely holding themselves together.

In theory, we all agree: schools should be places where children feel seen, safe, and supported, emotionally as well as academically. But in practice, that idea often gets lost under the pressure of exams, expectations, and endless responsibilities.

It’s easy to say, “We care about wellbeing.” It’s much harder to live it — every day, in every interaction, with every child.

What we’ve found is that there are many invisible beliefs that block schools from even starting this journey. And most of them are myths — ideas we’ve inherited without questioning, that quietly shape our actions and inactions. This article is about naming those myths — and letting them go. Because real wellbeing must be clear and simple.

So if you’re unsure where to begin, start here. These are the five myths that hold most school communities back — and what we’ve learned after a decade of doing the work.

Myth #1: “Wellbeing requires complicated interventions .”

Reality: This is one of the most common beliefs — and one of the most paralysing. When you’re working in a high-pressure environment, constantly responding to others’ needs, the idea of prioritising wellbeing can feel out of reach. “We’re too busy.” “We don’t have the training.” “It’s not the right time.”

But here’s the truth: you don’t need perfect conditions to begin.

Wellbeing doesn’t start with a big program or a formal strategy. It starts with a mindset shift — a simple realisation: that the adults in the building matter too. The first step is not a policy — it’s a pause. A moment of awareness. A tiny action that says: we see ourselves. We care. And we’re willing to take care of our wellbeing, so we can show up fully for our students.

Over time, these small steps create real impact. Yes, structured programmes can help, and there are excellent ones out there that we use as well. But the myth that wellbeing is too complex, too expensive, or too much to handle? That’s the very thing holding many schools back. The truth is: real wellbeing starts clear and simple, with 1% interventions.

Myth #2: “Only trained specialists should handle wellbeing.”

Reality: It’s a comforting thought — that someone else, someone more qualified, is in charge of wellbeing. A counsellor. A specialist. A department.

But here’s the hard truth: every adult in a school contributes to the wellbeing culture — whether they’re trained or not.

Students are constantly reading the emotional signals around them — in the hallway, the classroom, the office, the lunch queue. That’s why wellbeing can’t live only in a department. It has to live in everyone. And no, teachers and staff don’t need to be psychologists. But they do need to be well with themselves. You don’t need a separate team of experts. You need a community of emotionally healthy adults — people who’ve been supported enough to show up present, calm, and grounded. That’s the foundation.

Myth #3: “Wellbeing is only needed when we deal with trauma.”

Reality: This myth quietly lingers in many schools — the idea that wellbeing is a kind of emotional “first aid,” something to bring in only when things have gone wrong. But that’s a misunderstanding of what wellbeing is.

Wellbeing is not a treatment. It’s not a service reserved for crisis or recovery. It’s the foundation that keeps people well in the first place.

And yes — in moments of crisis, we need it more than ever. When stress becomes chronic or acute, our nervous system responds instinctively: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These are not weaknesses. They are survival strategies built deep into our bodies. But they are meant for moments of danger — not for everyday school life.

When educators and children are operating in survival mode, learning and connection shut down. That’s where self-care becomes not a luxury, but a necessity. Time alone. Stillness. Movement. Meditation. Talking to someone who sees you. Journaling. Therapy. Being in nature. Anything that helps you reconnect with yourself is an act of regulation — a way back to safety.

If we don’t teach these strategies early — or if we believe wellbeing only belongs to those “in crisis” — we miss the point. The goal is not to wait until the system collapses. The goal is to keep it steady, to keep people seen, and to help them return to themselves — before the crisis defines them.

The truth is: everyone benefits from a culture of connection, calm, and emotional safety — not just those who are struggling.

Myth #4: “Wellbeing is just for students.”

Reality: Many schools begin their wellbeing journey with students in mind — and rightly so. But here’s what often gets missed: children don’t learn emotional balance in isolation. They learn it from adults.

In our experience, the turning point came when we realised something difficult but honest: our students weren’t well because the adults around them weren’t well. That was the starting point — and the wake-up call.

Wellbeing isn't a one-way street. It flows from adult to child, from staff culture to classroom atmosphere. You can’t teach emotional regulation if you’re constantly overwhelmed. You can’t model calm if you're running on empty. And most importantly, you can’t create emotional safety for students if the adults in the school don’t feel emotionally safe themselves.

That’s why wellbeing must begin with adults. Not because they matter more, but because they set the tone. And no, adults don’t have to be perfect to support students — they just have to be on the path. Trying. Learning. Creating space for their growth alongside the students they care for.

Myth #5: “I need big resources to start a wellbeing culture.”

Reality: This might be the most limiting myth of all — and the furthest from the truth. The idea that wellbeing requires a big budget, a specialist department, or a formal structure keeps many schools stuck in survival mode.

But real wellbeing starts with something much more accessible: awareness. A wake-up call. A moment of honesty where you look around and say, “We’re not okay — and we can’t keep going like this.”

That’s where it begins. In our case, it didn’t start with big investments. It started with a question: “How are we, really?” Teachers and staff met in small groups. They talked. They listened. They started naming emotions. They started checking in with each other — and with themselves. And that was enough to begin. Yes, today we have programmes and a wellbeing department. But back then, we had nothing but each other. And a decision to start showing up differently.

You don’t need more resources. You need more honesty. More courage. More consistency. Ask the real questions. Be present. Create space. Change the way you speak to yourselves. Keep showing up — and the culture will shift.

What Wellbeing Looks Like Today at Transylvania College

At Transylvania College, wellbeing is no longer an add-on. It's woven into the daily life of our school. Every Monday, we begin with connection time — asking students how their weekend was, how they’re feeling, and creating space for them to show up as they are. That same care extends to our staff — both teaching and non-teaching — through regular coaching, emotional check-ins, and a culture of honest, compassionate dialogue.

We hold circles with teenagers to build trust, address challenges like bullying, and develop emotional vocabulary. We teach students to name what they feel, to ask for what they need, and to understand that emotions aren’t problems — they’re signals.

Discipline at our school doesn’t rely on punishment. Instead, we focus on setting kind but firm boundaries, replacing sarcasm with empathy, and cultivating environments where respect is mutual and real. We’ve worked intentionally to remove harmful language from our culture — not just for the sake of students, but for the health of the whole community.

We now have a dedicated wellbeing department and a team of psychologists who work closely with students and families. When issues arise, we encourage parents to explore therapy and reflection for themselves, not just for their children. Because healing is generational — and shared.

What we’ve learned is simple, but powerful: academic performance doesn’t grow in emotional scarcity. When children feel safe and seen, they thrive. When teachers are well, they can teach from a place of presence. And when the entire community is cared for, the results — academic and otherwise — follow.

Ready to Begin? Start Small. Start Now.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This makes sense, but I still don’t know where to start”

— you’re not alone. You don’t need permission from the board. You don’t need a programme. You don’t even need a plan. You just need a moment. A pause. A conversation that starts with: “How are we, really?”

Start thinking about it. Start talking about it. Start doing one small thing differently.

And if you want a place to explore these ideas with others, we’ve created a space for teachers and school leaders like you — people trying, learning, and building a new kind of school culture.

👉 Join our WhatsApp group: "Self-Care for Teachers and School Leaders"

Let’s connect, share, support — and build wellbeing in your school, together. Register here.