Written by Mark Symmonds, Founding Head of Pre-Prep, Rugby School Hanoi, Vietnam

When families ask whether their child is ready for school, the question often comes with familiar concerns. Can they recognise letters? Write their name? Count confidently?

Behind those questions is love and, sometimes, real anxiety. For parents sending their first child to school, placing someone precious in unfamiliar care can feel enormous.

Early reading, writing and number skills can be helpful, but they are only part of the picture. A positive start at school also depends on children being able to communicate their needs, manage small tasks, cope with unfamiliar feelings, build relationships and approach new experiences with curiosity. The Early Years Foundation Stage rightly places communication, personal, social and emotional development, and physical development at the heart of early learning.

Recent research supports this wider view. A 2024 study of 1,826 children found that readiness profiles, rather than isolated academic measures, were associated with academic and social-emotional progress in kindergarten. It also found high-quality teacher-child interactions made a meaningful difference.

For teachers and school leaders, the task is not to add another demanding checklist. For many parents, this is the first time they have entrusted their young child to someone else’s care. Clear guidance about what really matters can replace some of that uncertainty with confidence.

1. Communication

Children do not need perfect speech or an extensive vocabulary before starting school. What matters is that they are beginning to express a need, listen to others and make themselves understood.

This matters particularly in international schools, where children may be joining an English-speaking environment while still developing confidence in English. Families should not replace meaningful home-language conversation with English drills. Home language gives children vocabulary, confidence and a secure sense of identity. It also provides the foundation from which they begin to make sense of, and learn, English.

Parents can support communication through ordinary moments such as talking about the day, sharing stories, singing songs and giving children time to answer. Schools can also help families see that communication is not simply about knowing English words. It is about a child being able to say, “Can you help me?”, “I do not understand,” or “Can I play too?”

2. Independence

A school day includes many small acts of independence: hanging up a bag, opening a lunchbox, washing hands, putting on shoes and having a go before asking an adult to step in.

Each successful moment helps a child feel more capable. A simple transition guide can show families which routines are worth practising, framed as encouragement rather than a test.

3. Emotional regulation

Every child will have difficult moments when beginning something new. They may miss home, feel frustrated when something does not work, or struggle to share adult attention. Being ready for school does not mean never becoming upset. It means beginning to learn that feelings can be named, managed and supported.

Families can help by putting words to emotions: “You look disappointed that we have to leave the park,” or “It is frustrating when the tower falls down.” Schools, meanwhile, can reassure parents that tears, hesitation and the occasional wobble are often part of settling in, not evidence that something has gone wrong.

4. Relationships

School is a social world. Children are learning to take turns, notice others’ feelings, join play, resolve small disagreements and trust new adults.

These skills grow through real experience: spending time with other children, visiting unfamiliar places and practising simple routines such as greeting others or waiting patiently. Children do not need to arrive with a friendship group or immediately join every activity. Some will watch first; others will dive straight in. Our job is to create a warm, predictable environment where relationships can develop at a child’s own pace.

5. Curiosity and confidence

Perhaps the most valuable quality a child can bring to school is a willingness to explore. Curious children ask questions, try unfamiliar materials, notice details and keep going when they are unsure.

This grows when adults value effort, encourage their child to ask questions, and focus on discovery more than getting every answer right. Baking together, building with blocks, looking closely at insects or rereading a favourite book can all become rich learning experiences.

A shared understanding

A strong start to school is built through partnership. Readiness is not about pushing formal learning earlier and earlier. It is about creating the conditions in which children feel safe, interested and confident enough to learn.

The most helpful question may not be, “Can my child already do school?”

It may be, “Are we helping them become confident, connected and curious?”

When schools and families share that understanding, children are given something far more valuable than an early head start: the confidence to thrive.

Children explore and create together during an Early Years learning session at Rugby School Hanoi.

Photograph: Rugby School Hanoi. Published with parent permission.

Links in article:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0885200623001229

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/early-years-foundation-stage-framework--2

https://learnenglishkids.britishcouncil.org/parents/helping-your-child/how-young-children-learn-english-another-language

About the author

Mark Symmonds is the Founding Head of Pre-Prep at Rugby School Hanoi and an international school leader with more than twenty years’ experience in British and international Early Years and Primary education across nine countries. His work focuses on helping schools create the conditions in which children, staff and families can flourish.

More of Mark’s writing can be found at www.marksymmonds.com, or connect with him on LinkedIn.